Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the disease.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the minute," he said.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the condition progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or perhaps I process things in another way, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation failed to improve the condition, a series of scans revealed neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're understandably very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't experience poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle wasting in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain able to doing anything and everything. And hopefully that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Advancement
MND can progress rapidly.
As per the organization MND Association, the illness kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of identification, as swallowing and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I am upset for," added an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Talking from the family home with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and began removing the tears off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the priority was remaining in the now.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely militantly concentrated on just accepting and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been truly blessed that the only real choice I made when I left playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those periods back."
Sportsman Link
Elite athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with research suggesting the rate of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the O2 obtainable and creating injury to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous exercise can activate the condition in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his courageous, relentless method to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a practice gear and commenced participating in collisions.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical phase of play, creating a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a handful of other previous colleagues about his medical situation, but the rest will be finding out his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he commented.
"The sport is such a wonderful group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will want to assist in any way they can and I await having those conversations."
